How to Support an Abused Loved One

Domestic abuse is many people’s worst fear. But how do you help a loved one who is being abused? You might not live with them or see them often, but there are still many ways you can support them.

 

Listen to Them

Often, survivors of domestic violence go unheard. They may subtly hint that they are being abused, or that their relationship is impacting them negatively. It is never right to assume one way or another, but you can listen and ask the right questions. Directly asking “Are you being abused?” may not solicit an accurate response, so be careful with your wording. Avoid accusations, and instead focus on your loved one.

 

Give Guidance if Asked

This is a difficult step, because many victims of abuse will not admit they are being abused. However, if a friend or family member asks you for advice, offer them words of encouragement and let them know that they deserve to be treated respectfully. Again, focus less on accusing the abuser, as this may push your loved one away. Also, allow the victim to make their own decisions. Abusers often control their victims, so empowering them will give them hope.

 

Offer a Place to Stay

This may not be feasible for everyone, but if you have space for your loved one, offer to let them stay with you until they get back on their feet. Many victims suffer from financial abuse, where the abuser controls all of their money. They may not have a way to leave on their own, so offering a helping hand is a great way to show your support.

 

Share Resources

There are hundreds of resources for victims of domestic abuse, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Make sure your loved one is aware of the resources available to them. Also suggest going to therapy, and offer to help find a therapist that specializes in domestic abuse. Your loved one may not be ready to talk about their trauma, so respect their decision either way. They may also be more comfortable if you accompany them to their first few sessions, and this is a suggestion you may also make.

 

Educate Yourself

Education about domestic violence is the best way to empathize with your loved one. There are plenty of resources about why victims stay with abusers and many other important topics. Reading current research from psychological professionals and stories from survivors can help broaden your knowledge. Ultimately, it is your responsibility to educate yourself about domestic abuse, not your loved one’s.

 

Love Them

This is simple. Show your love and support in as many ways as you can. Do what makes your loved one comfortable. If you’ve known them for years, you likely know some of their favorite things – the movies, foods, and activities that make them feel at home. You don’t have to spend every penny on them, but the little things can add up. Let your loved one know how much they mean to you.

 

If you suspect a loved one is being abused, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline online or by phone at 1-800-799-7233.

 

Isabell Agumbah is a strong advocate against domestic violence. To find out more about domestic abuse, visit her website.

Concert Going with Disabilities

Alan Rasof Concert Going with DisabilitiesFor lots of excited fans, summertime means music festivals and concerts with their favorite artists. This usually entails a good amount of wandering about a venue for food, singing along with the best songs, and more. Individuals with disabilities, believe it or not, also enjoy going to shows and concerts, but often their experience is a little different from attendees who are able-bodied.

Depending on the mobility of the individual, physically getting to the location and finding a seat can be a challenge in and of itself. Often, concert goers who use a wheelchair or power chair to navigate have to jump through lots of hoops to ensure that their seats are wheelchair accessible. Few if any ticket sale websites can “check” to ensure that the person purchasing a wheelchair accessible seat actually needs the accessibility.

Additionally, ticket sales websites like TicketFly and Ticketmaster may not communicate with the actual concert venue with any frequency, so for people in need of accessible seating, finding the right person can be a nightmare. One unfortunate soul spent a month being bounced from the ticket sales company to the venue and back and forth again before finally procuring accessible seating her her and her boyfriend with cerebral palsy.

Other disabilities can impact the concert going experience, too. Recently, one woman’s video went viral on social media after a concert goer recorded her translating an entire Snoop Dogg concert into sign language in front of a large crowd of fans. Those who are hard of hearing or live with significant hearing loss still enjoy the experience of attending concerts and seeing their favorite performers live among others who admire the artist. However, for them to fully enjoy the experience, some need friends or professionals to translate the performance into sign language for them to understand.

Holly Maniatty has been signing rap shows and festivals for sixteen years and has translated the work of such artists as Jay-Z, Eminem, and the Wu Tang Clan. Professionally, Maniatty is an independent contractor hired by the disability department of a festival or concert. To prepare, Maniatty and her team spend weeks studying the lyrics and meter of the songs so that they can sign not only the literal translations to the dense lyrics, but also provide the appropriate body language to accompany them.

People with disabilities have favorite artists just like able-bodied people and enjoy being in the company of others who enjoy the performers. Although their experience is a little different, they love the rush of the crowd and the acceptance they find in music.

The Susan G. Komen Global Movement

Alan Rasof breast cancer awarenessThe Susan G. Komen Foundation began in 1980, after Nancy Brinker made a promise to her sister, Susan, who was dying from breast cancer. This one promise was that Nancy would do everything she could to end breast cancer for good. 30 years later, this promise has turned into one of the world’s biggest philanthropic accomplishments that has impacted millions of lives.

Nancy began the foundation with just $200 and a list of donor names. Now, the organization has invested in over $2.6 billion in research, community outreach, health advocacy, and various programs that span across more than 30 countries. Breast cancer death rates have decreased by 34% since the foundation’s start.

The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation has one of the world’s largest network of breast cancer survivors and activists. When Suzy was diagnosed in 1977, breast cancer was not a subject people openly spoke about – women felt like they were alone. But now, after tremendous efforts in the last 30 since the founding of the organization, women know they are not alone. There is now a global community made up of millions of people who are not afraid to share their stories and increase awareness of the disease so that it can one day be a part of the past and not a reality.

Alan Rasof nancy-brinker-1According to the official website for the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, Nancy G. Brinker, Founder and Chair of Global Strategy, has spoken about the rapid growth of the foundation and its effects on patients diagnosed with breast cancer. She writes:

“We have fought for access to care for the poor and uninsured; funded the clinics that educate, screen and treat people with breast cancer; paid for the groceries, transportation, wigs, prosthetics and insurance co-pays to help women face breast cancer with dignity and hope. We are doing this in more than 30 countries around the world, with more to come. We have invested more than $1.7 billion to make these programs possible,” (ww5.komen.org).

The efforts of all of those involved with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation have gone above and beyond any expectation that Nancy first had when she began the organization.

With continued efforts, this Foundation will flourish among the many profitable nonprofits and help those diagnosed with breast cancer, never ceasing to set out what they originally planned to do – find a cure.