When faced with the inevitable rocky patches of life, most couples are given the same time-tested advice: “Spend some quality time together.” Nothing at all is wrong with this; escaping for a nice hike in the woods or a cultural excursion can bring you closer as you are reminded of what brought you together in the first place.
But what about going against the grain? Sometimes the challenges that life throws at us are not so easily cured by your typical “quality time” movie date on the couch. Perhaps you’re going through something and your mind feels restless. What would it look like if you and your spouse actively worked against expectations of “quality” time? Instead of going on a trip that’s relaxing, what if you were to take up a challenge that’s taxing? Often times finding a distraction that you can participate in actively and together, is just the kind of cure you need to take your mind off the troubles of day to day life.
Few things can bring us together like the bonds formed during the journey towards a common goal or solution. So next time you want to spend some quality time, make the conscious decision to take the road less traveled. Sure, it may be harder, but coming out on the other side will leave the bond between you stronger than ever. Also, doing so is not something that can usually be completed in a single afternoon or a long weekend. No, these challenges weigh on you, force you to come up with creative solutions, and— most importantly— cause you to rely on your greatest love as a pillar of strength.
Maybe you need to get into shape. Try making quality time a joint exercise session, or time together in the kitchen trying out a new healthy recipe? If you’re battling certain vices, maybe your journey would include opening up to your spouse and starting a journey towards getting the help you need. And, all things permitting, if there is a problem at work that needs solving, why not get their opinion on it?
Remember, marriage is a partnership. So saddle up and help one another ride on to catch your dreams. The road may be tough, but the destination will be sweeter than that of any single vacation.